Penguins have the Teen Spirit to break The Curse of La Llorona.

This isn't sponsored, I promise, but I do genuinely love AMC's Stubs A-List program, allowing me to see up to 3 movies weekly on most of their available screens, spread across several days, or all on the same Saturday if I so wish. It's been a great help to me recently, and actually encourages me to break out of my usual wheelhouse, and check out movies I'd otherwise skip out on. That doesn't mean I actively go out of my way to watch everything (even for free, I have no desire to see Unplanned), but I love having those options available if I so choose.

But one con about the program? Being weary of your stamina. If choosing to watch all three films in one day, the amount of tonal whiplash can be rough on you. It's pretty jarring to go from Wonder Park straight into Climax. And this week was no different, in which I saw three wildly different movies appealing to very different audiences: Conjuring spin-off The Curse of La Llorona, Disneynature documentary Penguins, and debut director Max Minghella's Teen Spirit. Just for fun, I thought about reviewing all three simultaneously, to embody the utter tonal shifts in my viewing experience.


In The Curse of La Llorona, Linda Cardellini stars as a CPS worker, who finds herself and her children as the latest targets of the folktale legend The Weeping Woman (aka. La Llorona), doing her best to fight the haunt off while protecting the kids. Disneynature's Penguins follows a goofy adelie penguin named Steve, in an Ed Helms narrated chronicle of his journey to find a mate, hunt for fish, raise children, and prepare them for that cycle themselves. In Teen Spirit, Elle Fanning's gifted singer navigates her humble and money-strapped upbringing, preparing for a televised singing competition Teen Spirit, and her struggles along the way to reach stardom.

One thing that all three of these movies have in common is that none of them will waste your time. On average, each of them clock in at roughly around the 90 minute mark (76 for Penguins, in fact), so none of them will feel like they're keeping you for too long, or trying to overstretch themselves into epics they clearly aren't. All of them are compact for what they are, and even if you don't like them, it won't be a significant amount of time wasted. Keep that in mind in case the earliest Avengers: Endgame screening is sold out. I do appreciate a movie that knows to keep things tight, even if the actual quality of the film didn't go as far as I wanted it to. However, in one particular case, the short running time was a real blessing in disguise.

Starting off with the first movie I saw, The Curse of La Llorona is a movie so thoroughly uninterested in exploring the meatier ideas it proposes, reverting into just another cheap jump scare factory. The only true virtues of the film are some decent performances, particularly from Linda Cardellini as the mother trying to make sense of the supernatural threat. Cardellini has had a big resurgence lately, and good, I'm pulling for her, but there's only so much she can carry this movie. It had great potential to mine from the infamous folklore, but it doesn't milk the title woman for all her potential. It could have been used for some weighty thematic ideas, including how seemingly beautiful people can hide such ferociousness in their core, but the movie forgoes any of that meat, in favor of boiling her down to just another basic movie demon. She's essentially another variation of Valak from The Conjuring and The Nun, and there was so much more that could have been done with this.

I can't even give the direction much credit, because despite the involvement of James Wan, the movie feels so uncharacteristically cheap. With most of the budget clearly going to the house, everything from the pacing, to locations, to even the uninspired static photography feels like it's cutting corners in order to pad itself out. This is especially the case in those dreaded jump scares, with non-stop scenes of characters walking slowly, with dead silence followed by spooky things lunging out, sometimes within a matter of seconds of each other. Yes, The Conjuring had those too, but they were also better stories, and knew other ways to scare the audience. You can't get any lazier than this. Speaking of which, I only found out while watching that it took place within the Conjuring universe. You'd be forgiven for not knowing, as it's only link is a quick cutaway to Annabelle, but this feels like a last minute decision they bolted on to lure in fans, as this is otherwise completely detached, and just another bad horror movie of the week.

Going from gruesome PG-13 horror movie, I waddled into cutesy G-rated Disney doc Penguins. The set-up is simple, following the adventures of a now matured adelie penguin, making his journey to the nesting grounds, wherein he will raise and provide for a family before eventually beginning another cycle. And that's all it really needs, as the imagery on its own is incredibly effective. The cinematography of the film is beautiful, taking us through the harsh, but gorgeous brutality of the natural winter weather, the ever-evolving landscape surrounding the nesting grounds, and the penguins in all their awkward adorableness going about their daily grind for survival. The technical build of the film is so impressive - even including a stellar Harry Gregson-Williams score - that it does single-handedly elevate the film above its shortcomings.

Those being the attempts to give the footage a narrative. Compared to something like March of the Penguins, which gave a more generalized examination of Emperor penguin lifestyle, in focusing solely on one penguin, Steve, that does make the "documentary" style of the film feel really disingenuous. So much of the footage feels like it could easily be tampered with, as because Steve is virtually indistinguishable from other adelies, he could have easily been swapped out if that subject died while filming. Even if that wasn't the case, the narrative angle does deprive it of its impartiality on the part of the filmmakers, between the jokes from Ed Helms (who has some genuinely funny quips), and pop songs - particularly Steve's intro that plays "Stir it Up", it almost starts to feel like voiceover from a Blue Sky movie pasted onto the footage. But if you're not bothered by that, and you're a sucker for penguins (like one couple sat near me, with the girl sniffling on more than one occasion), you should enjoy this just fine.

To finish the night off, I ended up seeing the best of the three offerings that day, Teen Spirit. The writing/directing debut of actor Max Minghella (son of Anthony), the film follows the struggles of young Violet Valensky (Elle Fanning), and her ambitions to break away from her confines on the Isle of Wight, and become a pop star. This movie reminded me a lot of The Neon Demon, and not simply because of Fanning. This feels like a much nicer, more digestible version of that movie, right down to a scene of bright flashing strobe lights. Frankly, I enjoyed this movie more than that one, if only because the characters in this film actually felt human, and having more focus on actual narrative.

Minghella shows impressive potential as a filmmaker, striking a refreshing intimacy and emotional heft on the paper and screen, even if it does boil down to any other girl gone from rags to riches story, falling back on a number of easy conventions to keep the story moving, that feel so very played out. But this is mostly forgivable, as Minghella does show sincerity in how he builds them, and makes use of some genuinely invigorating directorial choices, from stellar performances from its well chosen cast, to impressive covers and remixes of older songs. But the real anchor of this movie is Elle Fanning, who holds this movie together as its emotional core, and is practically carrying it at points, feeling like a natural fit for the character's personal struggles and learning experiences, especially when matched against her tender, heartbreaking manager and trainer played by Zlatko Buric. It is far from a faultless movie, but is still a solid debut for the young Minghella.

So those were my viewing experiences, each of them offering wildly different flavors, with varying degrees of quality. Despite how eclectic it all was, it's reasons like this why I love the A-List experience. The movies themselves are not all winners, but I'm always excited by the new adventures that await me, that allow me to break out of my usual comfort zone and broaden my palate, and the sometimes hilarious double features I subject myself to. While it may leave me exhausted at times, my subscription has become my new favorite way to experience films, and I can't wait for more like it in the future.

But as far as the actual movies go, certainly go see two, and leave the other to weep over its misfortunes.


Ratings: out of *****

The Woman in White: *1/2
The Antarctic Adelies: ***
The Isle of Wight Idol: ***1/2