Hello everyone, and as the month of July begins coming to a
close, and Oscar season will be in full effect come September, I decided to
lend my attention to a few more notable summer flicks, with more like
Trainwreck and Mr. Holmes to follow I hope. Today, I’ll be taking a look at two
very different but much anticipated new releases. The first is the latest
adaptation of one of Fault in Our Stars author John Green’s books, and the
other is the latest Adam Sandler vehicle Pixels. Enjoy reading!
Paper Towns:
When The Fault in Our Stars released last year, it was a
smash hit for young filmgoers everywhere, containing all the classic hallmarks
of great teen entertainment; Romance, comedy, kids dying of terminal cancer,
all that good stuff. However, non-fans were split, with many viewers (yours
truly, included) feeling manipulated by its exploitation. That said, the follow
up adaptation of one of John Green’s book is much less likely to infuriate you
in that regard, starring Nat Wolff as a young man who becomes obsessed with
uncovering the mystery of his longtime neighbor and friend’s disappearance.
Taking its name from a common trick in maps in using false
town names to detect copyright infringement and copying, the original book was
a very sweet, very funny, and very clever series of discoveries with each new
development hooking you in. This new movie makes numerous changes from its
source material to fit a truncated running time, none the least of which
includes the expansion of the character Angela’s role and the downplaying of
Ben’s erratic personality, but outside of a few inspired shake ups, it often
alters to the point of oversimplifying its source material. When you really
take a step back, the film doesn’t allow you the same opportunity to admire the
subtly brilliant intricacies of Margo’s breadcrumb trail, for example. At some
point, I know my thoughts on the book and the movie have to reach some divide,
but even as its own thing, this movie’s rushing of events feels very apparent,
and never really can decide if its more offbeat romance or buddy road trip
movie.
That said, the direction and casting are all too charming
and irresistible for me to dislike this movie. The cast all have such a natural
playfulness and engaging chemistry with each other, oftentimes their segments
of delightful bantering and bickering contributing so much heart to the film.
Nat Wolff, despite me not having been impressed with his output, makes for a
fitting representation of Quentin, seamlessly translating his initially passive
nature, and effortlessly adopting a more loose and laid-back attitude as he
begins exiting his comfort zone. That said, it’s Cara Delevingne who makes for
a perfect Margo Roth Spiegelman. The young model turned actress understands
Margo to her deepest roots, and so too does the film as it uses her beautiful
looks to capture Margo’s unattainable-dream-girl meets girl-next-door essence,
with so many individuals making rumors and assumptions as to what this person’s
personality is really like, as opposed to getting to know the actual person for
the fascinating human that they are.
So, it’s with all these charming qualities that I simply can’t
hate Paper Towns, but with that said, it still doesn’t meet the potential for
the incredible film it could be.
*** / *****
Pixels:
But if Paper Towns can be described as not living up to its
incredible potential, then Pixels can only be described as crushing, shredding,
and destroying every ounce of its potential. Based on a 2010 computer animated
short of the same name, the film is about the idea of an advanced alien race
coming across our culture, and mistaking it (specifically the 8-bit video games
of the 80’s arcades) as a declaration of war. Something like this could have
made for a fantastic satire and alternative to the modern action film, but
falls victim to Adam Sandler’s treacherous Happy Madison company hacking away
at all of its inspiration.
Were this in the hands of a team like Phil Lord and Chris Miller,
best known for The Lego Movie and 21 Jump Street, I could see a film like this
excelling all across the board, but the entire movie falls apart because of its
production influence. Adam Sandler makes for a very poor leading man, painted
as a disgusting and douchy twit constantly spouting weak jokes and wooden
dialogue and exposition that doesn’t give us much to root for, and the fact
that he gets placed in a thoroughly unrealistic romance opposite Michelle
Monaghan, herself zero note and charmless here, drags the movie down so much.
Much of his usual friends show up as well, with Kevin James playing the President
of the United States (again, you just lost me), and the likes of Dan Aykroyd
and Nick Swardson making brief cameos for all of 30 seconds.
However, even looking beyond all of that, the movie is
utterly awful. Director Chris Columbus (of Home Alone and Harry Potter fame)
approaches much of the material completely ill-equipped and lacking enthusiasm
or distinct spirit. The action sequences, while certainly nostalgic, hold no
weight to the film because none of the characters are the least bit engaging or
sympathetic, and the filmmakers seem to think that nostalgia alone will be able to add
dimension in execution where there is none on paper, instead feeling
absolutely vapid and making you wish you could just play anyone of those classic games
yourself. The humor is largely in bad taste and utterly juvenile (including an
offensive “Engrish” speaking caricature of Pac-Man creator Toru Iwatani), often
making you squirm and trying to resist punching the seat in front of you.
The film’s own internal logic itself is heavily flawed, with
numerous rule breaking events occurring. Much of the action sequences are
played by the typical rules of their original games, yet for reasons that
cannot be explained, human beings can activate cheat codes to help them win a
game which the aliens cry foul at, and yet the aliens themselves constantly ignore
their own gameplay rules. The film’s many game characters, surreal as they may
be, are left standing there with the writers not having any idea what to do
with them, and it certainly doesn’t help when pure random things as distracting
as Matt Frewer briefly reprising his cult classic Max Headroom character appear
with little to no proper establishment.
Also, as if this couldn’t be Adam Sandler enough, if you
didn’t know that Sony produced this movie, you’ll certainly be reminded with
how much of their products they shove down your throat (including footage from
The Last of Us that makes me wish I were playing that instead of watching
this). At this point, I’m practically scrounging for anything positive to say
about the film, so my mind is flashing to the many supporting players. Josh
Gad, though hilarious, is left stranded with shallow Chris Farley antics, and a
character with deeply disturbing psychological issues. A too-good-for-this
Peter Dinklage made me laugh once in this entire movie, but leaves little to
no lasting value in the rest of the movie, which not once made me crack a smile.
Brian Cox and Sean Bean are wasted as two military men stereotyped beyond
belief, and the numerous other characters are terrible Big Bang Theory rejects that
don’t justify the writing space.
I physically felt embarrassed to have sat through Pixels in
theaters. To not only see a great idea get butchered so thoroughly, but to have
it butchered into a product this shamefully boring and insulting is absolutely
criminal. Adam Sandler certainly played a heavy part in all of this, but even if
you took his name off of this movie, I would still hate this stupid, unfunny bomb. It’s dated, hollow, and simply a poorly executed film in every aspect. It
is not the worst movie I’ve seen, but it is the worst movie I’ve ever watched
in a cinema. All in all, Sandler’s attempt at a comeback (between films like
The Cobbler and this) has been nothing short of unfortunate.
Zero Stars! / *****
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